


Staging Of Grief

by jedjubeed, sanzyfresh



Series: Loss [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Lots of alcohol, M/M, Pre-Frisk, kinda abuse, kinda oc's, light mentions of abuse, light mentions of neglect, neglect kinda, pre-flowey, they're kinda also necessary, we're going way back my guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:31:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7071148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedjubeed/pseuds/jedjubeed, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanzyfresh/pseuds/sanzyfresh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dr. W. D. Gaster dies, Dr. S. Serif takes his place. Of course, Dr. S. Serif has a long road to go to move on from the mistakes he's made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hole in my Skull

He was dead.

The one hope anyone had was dead. 

_He was the Royal Scientist._

Dr. C. S. Serif, the King's right hand man. 

Dr. C. S. Serif did not know how to feel about this information.

He knew he didn't like it. 

He felt lost without Dr. W. D. Gaster.

He couldn't do this.

He needed a drink. And so, he got one. And another. 

And he didn't stop for months upon months. 

His team said he had a problem. Alphys practically did everything for him.

Well, fuck them. 

Wait, he needed to check on the CORE soon.

... Nah.

He must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew, there was a blaring siren and a hell of a lot of racket. 

He stood up and took a strong belt of the bottle of whiskey sitting on his table, before exiting his office to investigate. Members of his team were sprinting around, and he managed to get one to slow down enough to rattle off that the CORE was melting down. Oh, shit. Well, hey. Alphys could deal with that, back to his office.

He closed the door behind himself and walked over to his desk, taking another long drink from the bottle on the desk.

Honestly, as Royal Scientist, he had gotten about negative three things done. It was pretty nice, considering he now had a place away from Papyrus to get wasted. And more places to stash liquor. 

He took another few chugs of whiskey, before putting the bottle aside. That was good. 

Next thing he knew, he could feel his body being crushed by the impact of something.

Something blowing up.

_The CORE._

Well, considering how powerful that thing was, it should have completely destroyed Mt. Ebott and everything in a 100 mile radius. 

Well, he was at the SAVE screen now, and he forgot he could do that. When was the last time he saved?

Oh, right, a week before Gaster fell-

Wait, he could bring Gaster back!

Ecstatic, he pushed the LOAD SAVE button.

**[ERROR - FILE CORRUPT]**

No, that couldn't be right.

He tried to load it again. No dice. Well, looks like he'd just have to reset.

He shrugged, pushing the RESET button. Let's see where the file was corrupted. He was thrown back to his bedroom in Snowdin. It was cleaner than he left it before he reset, and none of the papers he usually had out at this time were left out. He looked to his left, and Gaster was gone. Maybe he already got up.

Sans shrugged and rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing his face. Eh, no one would really care if he didn't get dressed. He scratched the back of his neck, as he walked out of his room. It was late, shouldn't Papyrus be up? Wouldn't he be talking to Gaster? Huh. He walked downstairs and made his way through the living room, to peer into the kitchen. Papyrus was standing there, making breakfast, alone. The reset worked, so why did it feel like something was missing?

"Hey."

"Oh! Hello Sans."

"So, uh... Where's Gaster?"

"..." Papyrus paused. Oh no.

"Who's Gaster?" Oh fuck.

"Uh, the dude who lives with us?"

"Sans, you must have had a bad dream again! No one lives with us... Dad died a while ago."

"You don't-"

"I know. I don't remember dad."

"Nevermind, Pap."

"Okay! Do you want some of this?"

"Nah, I'm going to Grillby's." 

"Don't stay too long!"

"Sure." He sighed as he took a step outside, taking a breath of the cool, crisp air. 

Welp.

He took a glance down the road before setting onto his exhausting hike to the bar he was so familiar with. One step into the snow,

The next onto familiar squeaky, unpolished wood floors. It smelled like grease, beer, and cigarettes. He truly felt at home. He made his way up to the front of the bar, hopping up on the stool. He had to head into work later, but what's wrong with a few drinks?

But if Gaster really was gone, that meant Sans was still the Royal Scientist. He must have been for a while.

He looked up to the bartender, calling for the usual. The fire elemental nodded and turned to pour him a glass of whiskey with ice, setting it down once he was done. Sans picked it up, swirling the amber liquid around in the carved crystal glass.

He wondered what happened, vaguely, as he took a sip of the drink. Grillby stood silently and gazed over his bar, before emitting a soft crackle of his flames to get Sans' attention.

"Yeah, buddy?"

_"Sans, I feel as if... lately you've been...... drinking too much."_

"Oh come on. I'd know if I had a problem."

_".....don't deny what you know..... to be true."_

"Grillb, cmon. Stop roasting me, I get enough from my brother."

 _"Sans, your brother is a_  child _. Are you sure you want to be putting him through this?"_

"Skeletons are tough. He'll figure it out." Sans sighed, shooting back a large portion of the drink in hand.

_"I suppose I can't convince you any further than I have."_

"Yeah. Thanks for the concern."

Sans had managed to polish off about half the bottle of whiskey before he was kicked out for being "Too drunk for common sense." Not drunk enough, then. He wasn't really ever drunk enough if he could stand up and stay up.

Hey, maybe he could go to work tomorrow after he'd drank away the hangover. A pretty distant possibility.

He walked home, and realized (through Papyrus) that he'd spent a few hours at the bar. Nice. After a stern scolding, a headache, and some explaining, he got to the kitchen to grab the  ~~fairly large~~ 64 of vodka in the fridge, before heading off to his room. He got past Papyrus with success.

He sighed as he sat on the bed, unscrewing the cap of the bottle to take a hefty swig. Almost full, nice.

He must have lied down on his back sometime, but for now he was just taking mouthful after mouthful of liquor as he watched the ceiling fan spin.

He must have lit a cigarette somewhere in there, because there was a searing pain in his right hand. He decided to ignore it and take another mouthful of vodka, but he must have drank the last dregs a while ago.

It must have gotten dark somewhere in there, because when he woke up, it was blindingly bright, even through the sheet he tacked up over the window. 

The knock on the door only made it worse.

"Sans? I heard you crying last night, but you told me to go away! In.. a rather rude way. Are you alright?" Sans grunted as Papyrus opened the door, and he pulled a blanket up from the floor to cover his face.

"Wow, your room is- where did those scratches come from?!" Papyrus sounded pretty concerned, from what Sans tuned into. Still-

Wait. Scratches?

"Where?"

"On your wall, silly!"

He looked up. What scratches- oh, there they were. Okay. They weren't even scratches, they were gashes in the drywall that looked like they came from some large clawed monster. He brought his hand up to run his fingers over, and... yep, that was definitely his hand.

"Sans... what happened there? And... why were you crying? You sounded really upset."

"I don't even remember, dude.. you know how I get." Papyrus side-eyed him for a couple seconds, before speaking slowly.

"Sans.. you, say you drink to forget some things," He started, very carefully. "But I think you may have a problem. My teacher.. she sent me to a counselor, and I told him about it and he said he might have to-"

"Pap, just stop. You shouldn't be telling teachers about me," Sans stated, rubbing his temples in frustration.

"..Okay. I love you, Sans," Papyrus said, before he walked out.

"I love you to, Papyrus." See? He was a good guardian. He told Papyrus he loved him. 

Now, did he have more booze in his room? This hangover was annoying. And he truly, honestly did not want to go to Hotland to buy more.

He doubted Grillby would sell him any.

He groaned as he pushed himself up, stumbling over to his closet before falling to his knees to start rummaging through the clothes and garbage lying around. 

Empty bottle. Empty bottle. Beer cans, all empty. 

A half-full wine bottle. Score. He set that one aside for later, and continued searching, finding an unopened bottle of scotch. Hell yes. He snickered as he stood up, both bottles in hand as he made his way over to his bed. He tossed everything down and pushed the empty vodka bottle onto the floor. He then walked over to his desk to search, finding a mostly full bottle of rum.

He returned to his bed and tossed the rum down, climbing in beside all the liquor.

He started with the bottle of wine. Who the hell needs wine glasses if you've got... The bottle. So, naturally, he decided to start chugging it. A bit through his small binge, he started to feel a bit dizzy. Perfect. Though, he hadn't eaten in like, two days, it makes sense that getting drunk would fuck him up. 

He shrugged and soon finished the bottle of wine. He glanced between the remaining two bottles, reaching for the whiskey. Dammit, he missed. He reached again, just barely grasping the neck with the tips of his fingers. He grunted as he pulled it up to himself, unscrewing the cap to be tossed aside. He took a couple chugs, and god damn did it taste good. He hummed and stared at the room, which was already starting to spin around him. He thought he could hear laughing, before he took another couple chugs. 

He must have finished it somewhere along the road, because the bottle in his hand was empty. He threw it aside with probably too much force, as he could hear a shattering of glass. He picked up the rum. He threw the cap onto the floor, taking a swig. Man he missed rum. He laid back onto the mattress, taking another swig. 

"Sans, open the door!" Shit, was Papyrus knocking?

"Hang 'n." Sans looked around, before looking down to the bottle of rum. Oh well. He decided to chug the rest of it down, tossing the bottle to the floor. "'s 'nlocked." He saw Papyrus open the door, and walk in.

"Your boss called. He said you're being fired if you don't go in tomorrow," Papyrus closed the door behind himself as he took another step in. "And the letters say you haven't paid the bills in a while.."

"Oh, psh! Wh'ev'r."

"Sans, this is serious."

"Ok." Papyrus stamped his foot. 

"Sans, you need to be an adult about this!"

"Ok." He rolled over. Papyrus groaned and tossed the letters over, before stomping out of the room. Sans stared up at the ceiling fan.

He probably blacked out, because when he woke up, there were a bunch of letters scattered on the bed. What the fuck? He sat up and grunted, deciding to read them later. Everything hurt. He dug his hands into his pockets and dug around, before pulling his phone out, turning it on. A few missed calls, couple text messages. Cool, but he didn't bother. It was midday on a Wednesday, Papyrus should be at school. 

He turned his phone off and tossed it to the floor, before exiting his room to go downstairs. He stood at the top of the stairs for a couple seconds, before taking a shortcut to the kitchen. He almost fell straight into the counter, but managed to catch himself. In the time it took him to rummage around, he was alerted to a firm knocking on the door. What a nice knock. He walked out and opened up the door, not having to look too far up to see the rabbit monster. Sweet. 

"Child protective services, is this the residence of Dr. C. S. Serif?" He almost choked at the title. 

"Uh, yep."

"Where... is he?"

"You're speakin' to him."

"Alright Dr. Serif, if we could come in and take a look around, ask a few questions?" Sans stepped away from the door. 

"Go for it." They walked in, and Sans noticed that a blue fire monster was with the rabbit. The fire elemental was drawing his flames in so much, he looked like he was in pain. 

"Dr. Serif, I'm Mr. Flambe, and this is Officer Thets." The rabbit nodded.

"Hey." Sans offered his hand out to shake. Mr. Flambe seemed relieved that Sans wasn't afraid of him.

"Now. Do you... abuse Papyrus at all?" 

"Of course not. I love Papyrus."

"Do you drink at home?"

"Uh, heh. Yeah."

"What are you like while intoxicated?"

"Mostly indifferent. I don't get angry or weird." Officer Thets was writing all this down. 

"Do you have a job, Dr. Serif?" Did he? ....Lie.

"Yep."

"Okay. Do you mind if we look around?"

"Course not. Up to the left is Papyrus' room."  Mr. Flambe nodded and stood. Him and Officer Thets started walking around the house. Sans sat, burying his face in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who the hell keeps wine in their closet?
> 
> sans, apparently.


	2. don't let go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is jedjubeed.tumblr.com, and my beta readers is we-can-start-over.tumblr.com! (their tumblr is 18+)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes™

He was really going to have to clean himself up if he wanted to keep Papyrus, wasn't he? He just lied to authorities about having a job, not to mention he was horribly hungover right now. It was pretty damn shameful. God damn, he always got really down when he was sober. But, hey, it's not like anything was wrong with him, right? His fiancé just died, and he killed the rest of his lab team, as well as got himself fired from his current job. Absolutely nothing could possibly be wrong with him. That's what he thought, until he heard the telltale creak of his bedroom door opening. _Welp, there goes my kid. Bye, Papyrus._

He sighed, and dropped his head into his hands as he heard the two mumbling to each other. They soon shut the door, and walked down to the living room.

"Well, Dr. Serif-" Officer Thets started, to be corrected back to Sans by the skeleton. "Yes. Well, Sans, we've… concluded that your drinking habits aren't safe for Papyrus. We'll pick him up tonight, once he's been home from school and has had a chance to take some of his things. We're afraid… we can't let him back into your custody until you've controlled your drinking problem." Sans groaned softly and shook his head, covering his eye sockets with his hands. He would give anything right now, just to have Gaster there next to him to tell him none of this was real. He didn't even notice he was crying until he felt the tears dripping down into the sleeves of his coat, dampening the fabric.

"Okay. I'll- I'll make sure he has everything he needs." The two officers thanked him, and left. Sans just wept. He didn't dare touch a drop of alcohol, and was stone cold sober when Papyrus came home. Sans was still in the same spot, right there on the couch. He didn't have any tears left, so he just sat there, fingers curled into his skull through his eye sockets, shoulders shaking in dry sobs.

He could hear the slight hesitation in Papyrus walking in, and shutting the door. Papyrus walked over and examined the room, probably looking for liquor bottles before he sat next to the older, wrapping his arms around him.

"Sans… are you okay?"

"Th-th-they- t-they're g-gon-gonna t-ta-take yo-you…" He hiccuped, and erupted into another fit of sobs.

"Th-the… g-guard. Take you until I quit d-drinking." Papyrus frowned. "…Go- just, g-go get your t-things. They're gonna p-pick you up la-later." Sans sighed, rubbing his tear-stained face.

The younger seemed to get it. He stood, and walked upstairs solemnly. Sans sat back, his eye sockets empty and blank as he stared at the ceiling.

Soon enough, Officer Thets and Mr. Flambe were back, to take Papyrus. Sans didn't want to watch, so he went up to his room. He may as well ditch all the bottles, but clearing all the liquor out of his bedroom was enough, and he got tired.

So, he took a nap. It was already getting towards dusk, so he managed to sleep through to the morning. Not the best thing, waking up stone cold sober after… so long of alcohol and hangovers, at seven A.M. He felt as if he was a member of the world, and managed to put some garbage of his room into the garbage can. The already overflowing can managed to get knocked over, spilling trash onto the floor. Sans decided that was enough work for today. He heavily considered drinking himself into a coma.

And then he walked past Papyrus' room, and walked in. He didn't even take his action figures? He loves those things. He sighed and walked in, picking one up. … Not a spot of dust in the room, just how Papyrus liked it.

That kid hadn't been gone even a day, and he was already nostalgic about it. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, walking out and closing the door before he started crying. Well, time to spend a day doing what normal people do.

Step one, make some food. He walked down the stirs and into the kitchen, opening the fridge. Some ketchup, a bottle of vodka, a couple containers labelled "spaghetti", and an empty chip bag. The things you put in your fridge when you're plastered. He shrugged and closed the fridge, leaning back against the counter. Grillby's sold things other than liquor. Bar food was good.

He managed to scrape up enough gold for a meal, before putting on his jacket. He probably should wash that, too, but it was old. It might fall apart.

Ah, yes. Snowdin. It was… snowy, and it was cold. Colder than he remembered. Of course, the last thing he remembered clearly, was- No, no, didn't want to think about ~~his hands grasping for the railing as he fell, his screams as he hit pipelines running through the span of the CORE~~ that. Rubbing absently at his right eye, he kept walking.

They still didn't fix the Librarby sign? That was hilarious. He stepped into the familiar bar, waving as he headed up to the front.

_"….hello, Sans. Would you…. like me to make you a drink?"_

"Uh, no. Actually tryina stop, so," He trailed off as he hopped up onto the barstool.

_"…….this is sudden. Did something….. happen? You can talk to me…..if you want."_

"Nah, it's…. uh, it's just, I don't really wanna talk about it. I'm sure if you don't hear it from me, someone else'll tell ya." Grillby stared at him for a few seconds before shrugging.

_"….so, what'll it be?"_

"Hmmn, how about just an order of fries?"

 _"Way to order the worst thing on the menu, Sans…."_ The bartender let out an airy chuckle, before stepping out to make the order. Sans looked around the room, before sighing softly. He didn't know how long he had to be sober, however it was probably a really long fucking time. Oh.. well. He didn't really want to think about ~~the smile on his face as he dropped to one knee compared to the look of horror frozen as he fell back into the white mist~~ that.

Soon enough, Grillby walked back, setting down the plate of food in front of him. He'd eaten Grillby's food while sober before, but that was a long time ago and frankly he didn't remember what it tasted like. 

Well, it couldn't be that bad. It's bar food. He picked up a fry, and popped it into his mouth, biting into it. It was… it was really good. Wow. 

He finished about half of it, before he got full. It wasn't like he'd eaten in a while, so a full meal just wasn't going to be something that was going to happen. He actually paid Grillby for this one, telling him to keep the change and put it towards his tab. It probably wasn't too large, but then again a little chip off it couldn't hurt. He left, and put his hood up against the wind, just standing out there for a bit. 

It's not like he'd talked to any of his friends recently.

It's not like any of his friends were alive.

No, no, he didn't want to think about ~~his twisted grin, tar dropping from his gaping maw words telling of all his mistakes until he wakes up screaming~~ that.

 

He should probably just go home. Well, he wanted to, but he… he really needed a job. 

So, he sat at his doorstep, and thought. What kind of jobs would be open? Resting chin in his palm, he just stared out at the main drag. The wind was blowing, and it was getting colder. It was starting to get late.

Various monsters walked to and fro, and… was that a flier? What was it for? He stood to walk out and pick it up, smoothing out the creases in it. It was damp, and water stained. "Sentry tryouts."

That was… tomorrow. Really? Cool. He shrugged and took it inside, putting it down on the table so he'd see it tomorrow. For now, however, a nap on the couch sounded nice.

Man, Papyrus would think he was so cool if he was a sentry.

Still…. he didn't really want to think about ~~twisting tendrils of tar entering his ribcage, Gaster's screams echoing, why can't be breathe he was drowning~~ that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda like this chapter

**Author's Note:**

> 12,129 characters long. OHHHH BOY.


End file.
